During a robbery, one of the robbers mask slid down.
He looked at a man and asked. Did you see my face?
The man said yes! The robber shot him.
Then he asked a woman. Did you see my face?
She said no, but my husband over there did.
Every time you get paid set ten percent aside in savings. If you get shorted on your pay check or get laid off all you need to do is transfer the money.
If you’re looking to save some cash on your hotel bill, try paying before you go. Some hotels, including some Marriot Hotels offer discounts of up to 50% if you pay two to three weeks in advance. It’s called an Advance Purchase Rate and it can save you money!
A man eats two eggs each morning for breakfast. When he goes to the Kirana
store he pays Rs. 12 a dozen. Since a dozen eggs won't last a week he
normally buys two dozens at a time. One day while buying eggs he notices
that the price has risen to Rs. 16. The next time he buys groceries, eggs
are Rs. 22 a dozen.
When asked to explain the price of eggs the store owner says, "The price
has gone up and I have to raise my price accordingly". This store buys 100
dozen eggs a day. He checked around for a better price and all the
A 45 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing
God she asked, 'Is my time up?'
God replied, 'No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.'
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a
face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck.
She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten
her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she
might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was
Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 15 races, I've won 8 of them!"
Another horse breaks in, "Well in the last 27 races, I've won 19!!"
"Oh that's good, but in the last 36 races, I've won 28!” says another, flicking his tail.
At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. "I don't mean to boast," Says the greyhound, "but in my last 90 races, I've won 88 of them!"
The horses are clearly amazed. "Wow!" says one, after a hushed silence. "A talking dog."
When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no
one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%,
it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to
finding Mr./Miss. Right!
If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married,
they'll say: 'We're in love'; I believe this is the ..1 mistake people
make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on
love. Though this may sound 'not politically correct', there's a
profound truth here.
Akash was waiting for his love ... "30 minutes late!!", his brain shouted at him, "Last time you were 5 mins late and she had literally gobbled u up ... remember??"
"Yeah yeah", he said to his brain, "You know her ... all moody and stuff .... oh there she is"
"Scold her OK?", his brain adviced.
"OK I will try"
Sweet Sheetal comes with the cutest smile and says "Im sorry honey .... I was shopping for shoes .. totally forgot about you"
"What if you had said that line buddy?", shouted his brain ... "she would have had a nervous breakdown"
